Life played me again...

Last night, I had a dream. I went to somewhere, and I saw a lovely little girl playing. She's so adorable and ran to me with great smile. I kneed down to hug her. She's so tender with lovely smell, and she stayed in my arm with beautiful smile. I kissed her pink cheek, bright eye, and soft lips. Another little girl stood one step aside, and looked at me. I opened another arm and she walked closer with shy. She's so cute that I can't stop myself to grasp her, and kiss her tender cheeks. They all laughed like wind bell whistling. I can feel how soft they are when I hold them tight. Suddenly it turns foggy everywhere. They stopped laughing, and started to fade away. I tried to grab their hands, hold nothing but air in my hand. I was scared. I ran around to find them, but just saw nothing. The fog circled me around, and I can't breath at all. I tried to breath harder and harder, and suddenly I went back the the real life. I found myself lie in the bed, my husband's hands hold me tight. Listened to his breathe, tears fell down my cheeks.

Life played my again. I had my second miscarriage. I felt to be doomed. Did I do something wrong? I'm not the one who always do good things to others, but I never really hurt somebody else in all my life. So why me? why us again? I just found out that I'm pregnant, cramp started. I feel the blood lost underneath, and I knew it can't be stopped. People said that it's better to be loved than never been loved, I disagree. If I knew that'll be the end, I would rather never start it. The pain is the worst pain when you have the joy in the beginning. You never know how strong the wine is unless you're drunk; you never know how that hurts unless you loved it before. "醉过方知酒浓，爱过方知情重", I used to love that poem for the words, now I can resonant it with my heart. I know that the time will be the best cure for all the wound, but I will always lock my two little lovely girls in my heart. I can still hear they're laughing and playing each other. But the life continues.